Goodbye Fear

With my first pregnancy, my husband and I had the labor/birth all planned out months in advance. Did we want the lights low?  Who would or wouldn't be allowed to visit? Did I want to use a birthing ball?  Did I want to go naturally or have an epidural?  I knew that I was completely open to having an epidural and just wanted to make it as far as I could without one.  BUT, I knew that once I felt I needed one, I would get one, with no cares about whether I should or shouldn't and what others (others being mostly other Momma's or soon to be Momma's would think).

This being my second pregnancy, I thought I'd know what I wanted, especially by now--well into my 2 trimester. However, I am not finding that is the case. In fact, I have been dealing with a lot of fear this pregnancy.  Fear of dying, fear of our baby dying, fear of getting an epidural, fear of not getting an epidural, fear of not being able to have a water birth like I've been longing to do since I first heard about the possibility from a friend over 13 years ago, and ultimately fear of just not having what it's going to take to birth this precious little boy into the world. 

Just yesterday I started reading a book (that a friend had recommended) and that my hubby had recently purchased for me. The book is entitled, Redeeming Childbirth: Experiencing His Presence in Pregnancy, Labor, Childbirth, and Beyond by Angie Tolpin. 

www.redeemingchildbirth.com

As I was laying in bed last night reading through the first chapter (Every Woman has Her Story), I knew that this book was written for me.  Not just for me of course, but for any woman who is either currently pregnant, is a Momma or desires to be a Momma some day down the road. 

Within the first few pages, the author raises some very good questions that pertain specifically to the birthing process. Here are just a few. 

1. Why has there been an adoption of secular thinking within the church?
2. Why do we (as women) have an attitude of entitlement, that we somehow are not deserving of feeling pain? That suffering is wrong? 
3. Why are we, as a church, accepting secular and new age perspectives on childbirth? 
4. Why are the majority of Christians' views on childbirth based on fear?

Great questions, right?  I really appreciate Angie's desire to delve into some deep seated issues within the church that have brought division and even feelings of judgement, shame and hostility between God's daughters.  

I want to focus on question #4.  Why has my view of childbirth been based on fear?  When I thought about it, I realized that most, if not all of my education on the subject has been through the eyes of the culture and society I live in.  I've been primarily educated by TV, movies, and social media. I can count on one hand the amount of times I've had an actual conversation with a woman about her birth story (s) that have been positive, insightful and encouraging. Instead of filled with negativity and horror.  How sad is that? No wonder I've been struggling so much with fear.

Now, I am guilty of this as well,  I have shared my story on numerous occasions and usually have focused more on the negative. Why not the positive.  Such as, our son was born healthy, my Husband was an AMAZING coach and was my rock through the entire process (the midwives even stood back and let him and I partner together to bring J. into this world), I was healthy, and the healing process went a lot better than I'd thought it'd go.  The Lord was in the entire process and walked us through it step by step. He was our Comforter, our Deliverer and our Guide.  It's amazing that in less than 14 months, I have forgotten all of that.  

Through out the day today, as I have moments here or there, I have been meditating on the Word--specifically scriptures that mention the word "fear". 
Here are a couple that I am currently "chewing" on and soaking in. 

...whoever listens to me will live in safety and be at ease without fear of harm. 
Proverbs 1:33

So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. 
Isaiah 41:10

For God did not give us a spirit of timidity (fear), but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline. 
2 Timothy 1:7

I know that this is going to take time, I am asking the Lord to help retrain my thoughts and emotions in this area.  

If you or anyone you know is struggling with fear or anxiety in regards to this subject, I encourage you to share these words of truth and affirmation with them.  

Also, please feel free to share/leave comments with other great scriptures that combat those pesky and sometimes crippling feelings of fear and anxiety.  

May we all make decisions and choices (not just pertaining to this subject, but in whatever you or I are going through) that are not based in fear and lies, but on the Word and in Truth.  

Until next time....