Ordinary Missional Living

Before I begin this post.  I want to make sure and preface it by saying that this article is geared towards those mothers that are also homemakers and may be dealing with feelings of inadequacy or guilt for not "doing more".

********

Before I began my own journey of motherhood, I would hear from other mother's that they were struggling with feelings of "shame" and "guilt". They felt that the only thing they were known for was, "being a mother" and they were feeling pressure from those around them to do more--be more. Yes, they had gifts, talents, dreams, and visions (some of which they did incorporate on a daily basis), but was it ok they weren't involved in "ministry" and were choosing to focus on raising their kids in this season of their life? 

Not yet being a mother at the time, I could only imagine what their internal struggles regarding their new identities and search for significance might be. Now, as a momma of 15 months, I am beginning to have some personal insight and understanding into what those fellow mothers were going through. There are moments when it's really tough being a new mother. Not only is the learning curve in parenthood HUGE and a constant thing, but sometimes we can feel lost in the midst of it all. 

Awhile back I began to have this inward dialogue, a wrestling of sorts I guess one could say. I began to ask some different questions. Who was I before the birth of my first son?  Who am I now? Am I ok with just being known for being J's mother? (Like that is a bad thing? Not at all!)  Have I lost my identity?  Why don't I do any of the hobbies I once found so much fulfillment in doing?  Is that ok? What about ministry? What about a career? Why do I feel like I should be doing more?  Isn't raising a family a ministry in and of itself?   I have continued to grapple with many of these questions and feelings the past few months.  Then this past week my hubby and I read the following article, The 'New Legalism', written by Anthony Bradley.  http://www.worldmag.com/2013/05/the_new_legalism In this article the author writes, "How the push to be 'radical' and 'missional' discourages ordinary people in ordinary places from doing ordinary things to the glory of God."  This was one of the key things I was feeling. Having been deeply involved with youth ministry, and then worship ministry for more than a decade, I found myself backing away from those things and focusing on motherhood. In the midst of all of the questions I had been asking myself, this was at the heart of it all. Was being 'ordinary' ok? Was I ok with focusing on motherhood and being a homemaker? Could I see this as the ministry God has for me in this season of my life?  After reading that article and doing some personal soul searching and prayer, I found I could finally take a deep breath and be a mom, without the guilt of feeling like I needed to have what the society views as a career, or what 'the Church' may view as ministry.     

 Motherhood is a ministry.  Fatherhood is a ministry.  Parenthood is a ministry.  Why is it that we think that it isn't, or that we get bored and feel like we have to do more? Be more?  My husband asked me a question the other day, "Why is it that we (Christians) feel like ministry in the church or community, or even having a career so many times takes precedence over our own flesh and blood? 

We are on this earth for such a short amount of time. Each of us (our lives) are but a breath....a vapor in the span of time.  In that breath of a moment, some of us are given the opportunity to raise a family and in that short time of 18-21 years we have but only 5-10 formative years that we can hopefully focus the majority of   our energy on our children. During those first 10 years (between the ages of Newborn-10 years old), they are hungry little sponges, soaking up everything around them--24 hours a day. They are constantly watching and listening to us and searching for guidance, while at the same time, beginning to learn who they are a part from us.  After those first crucial years, their independence increases and they will search for answers to questions many times from outside their home.  Our hope and prayer is that (although we are not perfect and we will make mistakes as parents), that our children know that they were a top priority. When we look back, our hope is that our family came first, instead of work, a career or ministry.

In closing, let me say that I am not against mothers or fathers who work full-time or are dedicated to their work, nor am I against parents who are involved with ministry outside your family tribe. This post may not be a very popular post, but I felt it was necessary for some fellow mother's who are struggling right this very moment.  Be encouraged!  You are on a journey that is humbling, challenging, amazing and growing, all at the same time.


Until next time....